What if you knew when you were going to die?
Category: Authors and Writing
What if Death Quit Her Job?
Would we rejoice?
Maybe. But what about her?
Death has had nothing but sadness in her day job. No one likes her. No one wants to see her coming. She clearly does not enjoy her work. Who would? Coming to work is depressing. “Hello, Mrs. Jones. I’m going to take your soul today.” And guess what? She has very few (no) friends.
And you thought you had a bad job.
Somewhere along the way, Death ended up collecting souls as part of the team in Heaven. Eventually she finds out why. And that’s not to say everyone goes to heaven after they die. No. That’s not it. And that’s not Death’s job, you see. She just makes the rounds according to the schedule and collects the souls so the other departments can get them to the correct eternity. You know. If you sin too much, you go to Hell. If you’ve accumulated enough brownie points, as it were, you get to spend eternity in Heaven. Everything is free there. Free health club memberships, country club passes, zoos, museums…It’s all free. It’s fun in the beginning but well. Everything gets boring after a while. Even Perfection. And free booze.
Back to Death. She definitely wins top prize for “sucky job” and to offset her terrible work life, she buys beautiful clothes. Her retail therapy outings have earned her the nickname Coco for Coco Chanel, her favorite designer. But she can wear Vera Wang, too. Betsey Johnson, Calvin Klein. It doesn’t matter as along as it’s expensive and gorgeous. But Chanel is her bestie.
When our story opens, Death quits. Yup. Finally, she’s had it up to here. The cruise ships are the absolute worst. Bodies and their attached souls float around in the ocean shivering their lips off, and Death has to handle each person. Some are still alive, and in every manner of scared to death. And then Death comes by. Imagine. Cold. Wet. Make it freezing, soaked. Almost drowning or recently drowned. (What a crappy way to go!) “It’s okay, Mr. Smith. I’m here to help you pass peacefully.” BAM. Mr. Smith bops Death in the jaw. “Oh, no you don’t!” The arguments over the years would make your hair hurt. Seriously. Death has heard them all. But now, she’s decided to quit.
And it’s not pretty. You can read all about it in my book, Deathlist, coming to a bookstore near you. There’s a lot more to it than Coco Chanel and Death, however. I’d hang on to your bucket seats. It’s quite a ride. Funny. Philosophical. Profane. Good and evil. Life’s purpose. High concept stuff wrapped around a book in which God plays too much golf, and the Holy Spirit is almost as much a clothes horse as Death. And there are epic battles afoot, Stay tuned for more posts about this crazy novel. Until then, I’m thinking we want Death to keep her job. Just sayin’.
Once Upon a Time …
Our lives are “hero’s journeys.”
EMBRACING IMPERFECTION
Embracing imperfection makes me graceful for people like us.
Feedback Is a Gift
If you have any feedback… I will say “thank you.”
Everything Rests on the Tip of Your Motivation. What is yours?
Everything rests on the tip of my motivation.
You Haven’t Met the Survivors Yet
“It’s a bitch working without a brain. That’s how my day is going. How’s yours?
The Imposter Syndrome
“Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.” ~ Oscar Wilde
Another Way to Write a Story
Picture a stick figure in your mind’s eye. Got it?
The stick figure portrays a unique way to shape a story, poem, or song. Anything creative. Starting at the feet…create from the feet up to the head. One caveat: the left foot is the unhappy foot, the right foot is the happy one.
Let’s go.
Feet = Setup
Knees = Propelling
Hips= Escalation
Heart = Climax
Head = Resolution
[Setup.] A person of unknown origins walks along a curb in Any City. They are young. No old. Rich. No, poor. Doesn’t matter. Right foot moves. Left foot sloshes through the dirty gutter water. Step, sploosh, step, sploosh, step, sploosh.
[Propelling.] A truck rolls by. Drench sounds ensue. Our stick guy drips, shivers. Curses. The wind whips the chill down into his fleshless, skinny bones.
[Escalation:] The twigs that form our main character’s right arm break, the elbow crunches, the sticks snap as both the happy and unhappy feet lose traction and slip on oily city grime. Passersby pass by, worried that getting involved would get them overinvolved.
[Climax:] An Any-State Highway Patrol Officer sees our broken stick figure. The patrolman’s biceps bulge as he slows his off-duty cycle to a halt. “Hello,” he says. “Need help?”
Now the passersby cease passing by and stop. Phone cameras roll–as if that helps. The Good Samaritan Highway Patrol lifts our hapless hero from the gutter and whisks them to a hospital. News-at-Seven carries the video story from all angles, thanks.
[Resolution:] Everyone rejoices. The news is good that day… for a change.
Villains
Novelists Need to Know!
What is a villain, anyway?
What do you think of when you hear the word villain? It’s the ‘bad guy.’ Okay. Yes, but it’s more than a bad guy. Villains are without remorse. They. Are. Evil. They have no moral compass. No sense of right and wrong. They are motivated by things we cannot fathom, but we know a villain when we see one. Most of the time. The Literary Terms site indicates that the villain “comes up with plots to somehow cause harm or ruin.” There is no good side to the devil villain, they say. He (or she) has no redeeming qualities. The villain’s goal is to sow chaos and despair, and a good example is The Joker in the movie “Dark Knight.” Writers of fiction might want to explore why their villains get that way. Was it a bad childhood? A broken home? Really? Why is the devil evil? They say he was cast from heaven… he was an angel at one time, but why would anyone want to leave heaven? Or rather what did he do to get kicked out of heaven?
Why would Hitler be such a jerk? Stalin? Mussolini? Any of those guys? These real-life human beings represent variations on a theme of a fictional villain, from the fanatic, to lunatic, tyrant, traitor, outcast, and everything in between. Or maybe they made it so writers could write more realistic villains. Should we thank them?
How does a villain differ from an antagonist or anti-hero?
That’s a great question. The antagonist as defined in the website above is “the character who causes a problem or conflict for the main character.” They might not be evil, but may just be someone who makes it difficult for the protagonist to reach their goal. The antagonist could be society, or a stupid little brother, or a BFF who keeps the heroine from becoming prom queen, or saving humanity.
If You Are a Writer…
… these are important questions. Villains and antagonists are at the heart of story. What is the protagonist trying to do? What is their motivation for doing it? How badly do they want it? Will the antagonist be their undoing or will the villain tear down their defenses, make it too hard, and set them on a path of despair and failure? Readers keep turning the pages because they want to see what will happen if the heroine will succumb to trials and give up or press onward. The readers will want to keep flipping pages. Then what happened? Did their hero lose? Did they fall? Did they go to the dark side? Will their friends be able to help them? Flip. Flip. Flip.
I Have a Villain and an Antagonist
In my novel, Deathlist, the Ultimate Hack, Death is my gorgeous, unhappy protagonist, the devil is the villain and God is the antagonist. Yup. God does a good job of getting in Death’s way of being able to quit her depressing job. The Deathlist is a receptacle of everyone’s death date, which would be a good thing to know, I think. You may not agree with me, but I believe it has value. In fact, if I knew I were going to die this week, I’d do even more not to die of Covid, wouldn’t you? What a crummy way to go.
Well, that’s a little ways from talking about villains, but I guess I’m done. Meanwhile, would you say Covid is a villain or an antagonist? Let me know what you think.
I’m really done for now. Over. But not out. Yet.